The thorn of miscom, brewed up a storm.

I'm listening to soothing music now. But man, it was a horrible day.

Sum stuff happened the previous night. Was troubled already when i woke up to do project.

Already swiming around in the cavities of my skull are huge task lists (which are thankfully getting shorter). plus i haven't started studying for exam on monday.

do do do.

frens came over, do more.

Then the call came.

I was sposed to be at vanda room to dunno do wad during the Comperes (my cca) tryouts. there was an email notifying the year one's of it. it was forwarded to me. but in no manner, implicit or explicit, did it state that i needed to be there.

The lady (my cca's assigned staff) was pissed. Said that this exco not good. never even met her once. She said she knew the year threes were very buzy so she's counting on us year 2s. she said, then wad's the use of having excos, might as well sack us! wtf! in liew of study related stress: What the fuck.

LADY, it is in the mist of the study week. NEXT week is exams. In case u forgot, we're students too. So the year 3s are buzy. U SO SURE ABOUT THAT? YEAR 2 NOT BUSY AH. What's more, you did not specify that our presence was neccesary. Yes, most of the juniors can make it, but SO? maybe it is not crystal to those non teaching staff that the chasem that throws itself between the year 1 and year 2 timetable is cosmic!

And i told her (in PR mode.. all the time) that when we all first joined the compere club, it was with knowledge that it was a low commitment cca. Read: Low. Well, it appears, that's gonna change. Mrs big-vision: "This club will function as a club. Not some compere service." Lady, we need to talk.

If your expectations are gonna change so drastically, pls tell us. and if you want a meeting, kindly ask for it instead of crying when nobody comes to you when you DON'T ask for it. Remember that you're not teh only one with expectations. And it's not about who's is higher. It's who's is more realistic.

I'd love to be a part of compere and help out. i really enjoy it. But if commitment's gonna take the joy out of it;

Then i'll feed it to my priority machine and its set of rules will take care of it.

Finally, the part about sacking people is uncalled for. I think deep down inside i'm hurt. You ass. This is singapore polytechnic, an educational institution. If you don't think students are doing a good job. Be constuctive and do what i hope you've been taught: GUIDE! don't insult students desire to learn, or worse, rub the ignorance in.

My goodness.
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before she put down the phone, she mentioned that a few freshmen arrived oredi, and she had to start the training, and get this - "pathetic", this is wad she said - "pathetic". HEY, haf some pride in ur club. i hope she changed her mind afterwards, otherwise the self fulfilling prophecy will kick in, and kick her.

these are some of the things that ran through my head. it all came out when i talked to her on the phone, she understood, but it was heavily PR-ified. Got to get the truth out somewhere. hence this entry.

mood for the whole day was gone, just like that. at tiong baru, the dessert stall aunty was so moody. Never smiled. i ordered ice red bean. then she pointed out that wad i wanted was "Ice MILK red bean". talk talk talk, explain explain. i had every mind to shove the, yup, now's teh time to use it - "pathetic" - mountain of wad seemed like bodily fluid into her face.

arhh, hate to end on a rough note, but i got to do dma (digital media applications) project soon. it's due tmr.

At least now, the storm has settled and it's drizzling outside. I don't feel angry anymore, but feel that I should try to relive what happened. For me, anger is like fire, once you cover it up with some metal pot or the like, it will snuff out. I'm just worried if i keep postponing the anger, it will come out in other ways.

Like,
-impatience towards others,
-a horrible whiny attitude toward everything no matter how meager,
-unclear head, hard to think,
-and basically a cringe-worthy negative outlook about life.

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ah, feel better now. maybe it was the scorching weather. but then came the rain.
Tks..